Why the uncomfortable conversations on race and community are so important:
We are often offended or disgusted by the emotionality of others when it comes to traumatic events, sometimes frightened or angered by the depth of their negative feelings, urging them to “deal” and not “feel” as if our OWN feelings do the dictating.
We like to tell people how they should hurt,the way they should react, and the timeframe in which it is acceptable to feel this way, not realizing that people (yes, even you) often feel an overwhelming sense of relief when someone else merely acknowledges they can bear witness to their pain, in those moments.
It’s within our nature to hold on to what has hurt us most, no matter how we choose to express or not express, because it’s the most memorable part of the experience of who we are. That is resoundingly true. What has hurt us has staying power, especially when we are hurt by no fault of our own. Some of greatest joys can remind us of our failures, compliments can bring along feelings of anxiety, and positive moments if not sustained can’t compete with the traumatic ones.
To let something that’s caused us a great deal of agony go before it’s discussed , grieved, and acknowledged would be similar to losing a part of who we are. It would be the ultimate betrayal.
Any attempt to water down a personal trauma or trial for the comfort of the ears of someone else is neither healthy nor sustainable emotionally. Something toxic often follows. Those types of compromises aren’t easily internally forgiven.
The soul can seem as though it demands repayment but what it truly desires most is to feel free from abuse and understood.
The point where uncomfortable conversations about very real trauma lead to understanding, being heard, witnessed, collected and considered by another, is the point that a feeling of validation can occur, making it more difficult for that pain to be held onto. That’s when true change and healing can begin.
Not before, only after.
These conversations we are having...the uncomfortable ones. For some of us, they are just the starting point needed. At least for me it is.
Still more to be done.#blackandbrownunity
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With degrees in Psychology, Clinical Mental Health, and over 25 years of direct care clinical experience as psychotherapists. Charlie and Arienne are true clinical professionals with a passion for life and each other that’s only equally matched by their humorous, lighthearted demeanor and wit. As keynote speakers they are an entertaining and informative twosome who are as comfortable on...